We never thought that would be us. We are good parents with well behaved children. So when we got a note from Cameron’s teacher reporting some aggressive behavior, we were shocked at what was in that note. We already knew at age 2 to 3 Cameron would express himself physically because he didn’t use words much. The teacher reported that he bit someone on the lip after he was pushed and that on a separate occasion he twisted someones eyelid. I felt like I didn’t know who this kid was and then I felt like a bad mother. Where did he learn to do this? We don’t allow the kids to watch anything violent and no one in our family behaves this way. My husband Alex and I agreed we had to act fast! The Principal also wanted to see us about Cameron.
At our meeting with the principal, we talked about ways to help Cameron in a positive way. I eventually came up with making Cameron a star chart to carry back and forth to school. The teachers were very cooperative and liked the idea. So, I made a card that said, “Cameron’s Super Hand’s.” We traced his hands with colorful markers on the cover. On the inside, it read, ” Cameron has SUPER HANDS, Hands that paint, hands that write, hands that hug, they can do lots of SUPER things and never hurt anyone or anything.” We read this to him everyday before school and told him that when he earned 10 stars, we would take him to buy something special from Toys R’ Us.
After a week, there was still no star, he was still getting in trouble for using his hands in a hurtful way. I felt so bad that other children may get hurt, although the teachers had been keeping a close eye on him and intercepting the attack always before anyone got hurt. We thought our plan was not working. Then, the next day, he got a star! Finally! “Keep it up Cameron!” we encouraged him and the next day he got another star! He continued until he filled up his star chart. Whew! Mission accomplished. Along with the star chart, we encouraged Cameron to use words to say how he was feeling. With persistent love and encouragement, we never scolded Cameron because we knew that he just needed to be taught to use his words.
Today, Cameron is 7 years old and is the sweetest, most thoughtful child I know. He gives the best hugs complete with this twinkle fingers thing he does when he’s hugging. When I pick him up from school, he runs to the front of the school to pick up the nicest freshly fallen plumeria flower for me to put in my hair. He is also the protector of friends and family and says he will be a firefighter one day.